When Competition Becomes Insecurity

Recently, I notice that some people doing the same cake business like I do. I also notice that some friends doing other businesses. On the surface, they all "look" like going well...even though behind the scene they may not.

Then I begin to compare myself with them. I have done my part, I make business cards, I update my website from time to time, I give away brochures, I pray, etc. Yet I haven't got much responses from the people. I thought what went wrong. Why other businesses were more ongoing? The insecure feeling crept into my heart & I became panic!!

I asked God,"why Lord?What is it that I missed?" It'd been weeks I felt this. No peace. Just insecurity. The more I look to the others, the more I get upset. I'm not less better than they are...

Last night, after I talked about somebody with my husband (sort of degrading that person), he scolded me for being busybody about other's business. I knew that he would do that...anyway, I regretted doing that. He was right. I just prayed for forgiveness & asked God to reveal what I felt.

The answer just came straightaway while I was lying on the bed. God revealed to me few things:

1. When doing something, don't do it for the sake of customers. Do it for God. Everything comes from Him, by Him & for Him (Col 1: 16). I realised that so far I have been making cakes for the sake of customers' satisfaction, but I haven't done it to please the Lord. I do pray for the cakes so that the customers are blessed with the performance & taste. I also pray for guidance when making cakes. But I missed this point.
2. I have a 6-month-old baby. He is still too young & needs extra attention. Our prayer has always been that God would be glorified through him. God would use him throughout his life. That means we have to invest time with him teaching what the Bible says. If at the moment I have to handle cake orders that are so time-consuming that I have to work almost everyday, then who'll pay attention to Austin? I would be too busy to do that. Husband works from Mon-Fri. When I look back in the future, I would definitely regret that I had missed this season. Austin is precious, because he has soul. That lasts forever. My passion & achievement of making cakes will only last on earth. I wouldn't take it to heaven.
   

I'm in a different situation compared with those people. Most of them are single/married without child. Even if they have kids, they are not babies anymore.

So, I summed up that this is God's portion for me for this season. It's good before Him. I don't have to chase the blessings. They will come in God's time.

Thank you Lord. You know what's best for me.

Our Newborn Baby - Tasia

My article before (The Life That I'm Living For) re. my pregnancy was interesting. I went to have ultrasound & the lady said that the baby was in transverse position. When I went to have my womb checked at doctor's place, the baby was head down.

So he asked me to have a wait for another 1 week & he would examine me whether or not I had to do C-section.

I still wanted the baby to be born naturally, because I knew after C-section I had to bear stitches pain, couldn't go for exercise for at least 6 weeks, couldn't do chores, etc.

So my husband & I prayed together hoping that natural delivery would be possible.

One week later we went back to the doctor & he examined me. Well...I had to have C-section because the baby's head was to high from my pelvic. The doctor chose a date (29 June) at 8am to do the operation.

I was disappointed because it didn't turn out as I hoped. But I still believed that God had a plan behind the scene.

So the baby was born on Monday, 29 June 2009. His name is Austin Yoel Duchesne. His weight was 3.7 kg (huge bub), length was 52 cm & head circumference was 38 cm. No wonder I couldn't deliver him naturally...his head was too big to go down! Normal size is 35 cm.

3 weeks after delivery, my family came over for the baby. And eventhough they drove me nuts, the positive side was that I didn't have to do chores. The first 3 weeks my mum (who came earlier) did the chores & I rested a lot. Thank God for mother. I couldn't imagine how it would be had I have to do everything myself. I could be depressed :)

God was good & He is always good. All the time...

Faith That Condemns The World - Tasia

Today I read from Genesis 6-7, the story of Noah.

God commanded him to build an ark in preparation to the great flood that God would send to the earth due to human's sins that was so great.
God only saved Noah & his family (wife, 3 sons & sons' wives) because Noah walked with God. In Genesis 6 v 9 it says:

"...Noah was a just man, perfect in his generations. Noah walked with God."

"Just" here means Noah's actions toward other men & "perfect" here means sound, wholesome, having integrity (the Hebrew word is tamim, this word was used to describe the perfection of sacrificial animals). So Noah was actually a balanced man. He got great relationship with God as well as men.

During Noah's ark-construction period, I can imagine how other people would look at him & considered him insane. I read before that it took him about 100 years to construct the ark (The Bible doesn't mention how long).

At that time, everything seemed fine. People had marriages, parties, bought & sold items...so normal, until the day that God sent rain from heaven. These sinful people were overtaken. They could run to nowhere. Rain poured down for 40 days & 40 nights. They died in their sins.

I pondered for a while when thinking of Noah's faith. It took faith for him to believe what God told him His plan to destroy the earth. But because Noah walked with God, he knew God & thus he trusted Him. He obeyed the Lord by his action eventhough he hadn't seen that great flood yet.

I learnt some points about this:

1. It is easier to believe/obey God when my physical eyes see things. It is harder to obey when I don't see things. That's true, isn't that? Because we get used to see things that are seen than unseen.
   That's why it takes faith because there is a reward behind it.
2. Our relationship with God makes us know Him. Our experience of walking with Him enables us to trust Him.
   

The Life That I'm Living For - Tasia

Continued from Walking in the Supernatural

After we attended that meeting, just in a week, some issues come to us.

1. We have a tall tree in front of our house & according to the property map it belongs to us. We receive a 30-days notice from Western Power ordering us to trim that tree 2 meters away from the power cables. Otherwise they would use someone's service to trim & we would be invoiced for that.
   
2. A few weeks before our neighbours complained about another big gum tree at our backyard. The branches fell on their gardens especially during the storm & they had to clean the big heaps of broken branches. Even it happened before that one of our neighbour's fence got broken due to that tree.
3. We went to a doctor for my pregnancy check up (I was in week 37). He told us to go for another ultrasound because something abnormal happened. [For now I won't share what happened, keep this for great testimony later :)]

Well..the trees sure involve few hundreds of money. We just pray, believe and confess God's words. At the moment we only have one income & I stay home.

These issues came to us, we believe, so that God can stretch our faith. We've been asking for more of Him, passion! Yes, God responds in His way. We have to go to a higher level.

Anyway...this morning in my quiet time with the Lord, I just sat down in the lounge. Suddenly the Holy Spirit reminded me of life in Christ.

I was reminded from Galatians 2:20

"I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me, & the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me & gave Himself for me."

It talks about one of the characters of the bride of Christ, ie, to follow Him wherever He goes.

Many times we put God just in ONE or SEVERAL aspects of life. We give Him some spaces only where He isn't involved in our life too much. We give Him just a little bit, we never really surrender ALL! That's why we miss Him. We can't be a true follower of Christ. If our life belongs to Christ, we shouldn't confuse ourselves with worldly matters. Worrying about things...

Christ demands us to love Him more than our own life. Then only He can live in us fully.

If only Christians grab this meaning of die to oneself, I believe that many people will see Jesus clearly.

Walking in the Supernatural - Tasia

This week God wants to take us to a new level of spirituality. We went to a Christian Prophetic Meeting last week. The preacher came from Canada (Bruce Allan). His main sermon was about walking in the supernatural.

We live in the last days & the passion of Jesus drives us to be a spirit-filled Christian. There's no other way to be a spirit-filled Christian if we want to experience the fullness of Christ.

In his sermon, he mentioned many examples of how many believers experience that fullness. There was an African guy with no money & passport commanded to fly to France to spread the Gospel. This guy was a friend of Bruce's friend. He just packed his luggage, went to the airport & God asked him to go to the gents. God asked him to worship inside one of the gents' room & when he finished worshiping he opened the door. Guess what?...He was in France!

And another testimony was a new believer spent his time daily in his room chatting with God as friend to friend. He just shared with Him what happened on that day, his hobbies, etc. After one year passed by, one day, he heard a noise from outside. He heard the noise of footsteps . Someone opened his room's door, closed it & it was Jesus came to his room.

Jesus told him how pleased he was because this man's heart was so passionate about Him. And Jesus said that from now on he will always see Jesus.

His sermon really impacted me & hubby to seek Jesus more. We have been lukewarm...church is just another religious routine...and it makes us dead spiritually. We need to be matured as His coming is closer.

Bruce also mentioned that not every Christian is the bride of Jesus. There are characters that Jesus looks in that. They are taken from Genesis 24 (a bride for Isaac).

1. v 4 "but you shall go to my country & to my family; & take a wife for my son Isaac."
v 6"...Beware that you do not take my son back there."

The bride of Jesus is willing to follow the leading of the Spirit. She doesn't do things according to her will.

2. v 18 "So she said, "Drink my lord." Then she quickly let her pitcher down to her hand, and gave him a drink."

The bride of Jesus draws living water daily, ie meditate on God's word.

3. v 19 "...I will draw water for your camels also, until they have finished drinking."
v 20 " Then she quickly emptied her pitcher into the trough, ran back to the well to draw water, and drew for all his camels."

The bride of Jesus has a servant's heart & quick to respond.

Camels can drink gallons of water, yet Rebekah drew waters until they were all satisfied.

4. v 22 "So it was, when the camels had finished drinking, that the man took a golden nose ring..."

Nose speaks about discernment. The bride of Christ has purity in discernment.

As Christians, we have the idea that once we receive Jesus as saviour we automatically become His bride. We don't spend time with Him. We know that salvation is free, it's God's grace. But we miss out that we have portion to do. We have to work out our salvation (Phillipians 2:12). Every Christian has to weave one's own wedding garment.

So we asked that we would be more passionate about Jesus.

Continued to The Life That I'm Living For....